Introducing...

Hello Everyone,

She is 10 days old now and finally i am able to introduce to you all our beautiful miracle baby girl:

Emma Annabel Cole - Born on Monday the 9th December at 10:33pm:

I expect you are wondering why it has taken so long to update this blog, well... let me tell you, you will not be disappointed! I don't do things by halves! Ha ha.

After our consultant scan and midwife appointment on Thursday the 5th it was decided that our induction would be moved forward to the Saturday, oh god! Her growth was fine, and they estimated her to be 7lb 2oz but just to be on the safe side i was booked to go in to hospital for 8:30am on the 7th.

We arrived at the hospital on time (of course! ha ha) and i got settled onto the ward and a pessary was put in at 9:40am. We were really excited for the whole process to start and were so happy that we were close to meeting our precious baby girl. With the idea to get things moving we walked up and down the halls of the hospital. On that first day we must of walked 10 miles! My friend Robyn popped in for an hour (but ended up staying until Emma was born! Ha ha, sneaky!) and by 9pm i had only managed to get to 2 cm's dilated... gutting... So Phil and Robyn went home and the plan was to have another pessary put in the following day.

That night was awful... i got no sleep due to a woman who literally sounded like a bear snoring in the next bay to me, and on the other side of me there was a woman making so much noise you would think she had got to 10 cm's in 5 minutes. Turns out she was only 1! In the end, and at 5:30am the midwives decided that i could be moved to a private room so i could get some sleep. I was shattered and mentally stressed, they should of moved me sooner really, but oh well. I managed to get about 2 hours sleep.

Phil and Robyn arrived at just after 9am on the Sunday and i was moved back to the ward and a second pessary was put in. With the frame of mind to get Emma out we all must of walked over 15 miles of the hospital corridors! I was bouncing on a ball, and even got in a bath at one point. I had a fair few contractions throughout the afternoon which suggested that things were underway but when i was checked we were disappointed to find out that i was still only 2cm's! A plan was made that on Monday i would be put on the drip to try and speed things up. In preparation for this, and also for my sanity i was moved to the Central Delivery suite, again into a private room so i could get some sleep. Monday was going to be a busy day!

With enthusiasm at 9am, Phil and Robyn arrived once more! It didn't take long for me to be put on the drip, but first i would have to have an epidural. My original birth plan was to have only gas and air, with the possibility of Pethidine if things got really bad. This is because, if you recall, when i was with Robyn at the birth of her daughter Erica in January her epidural experience was awful! However, there was nothing i could do, if i wanted the drip, then i had to have an epidural, simple as. All the paperwork was sorted, and i was given gas and air so i could get through the whole experience. It seemed to take hours to get the bloody thing in, and Phil and Robyn tell me i came out with some classic comments, such as 'i really like that doctor with the beard' (he was doing the epidural! ha ha), and 'i do love Loz (Robyn's husband) but he does have funny hair'! Ha ha, love it!

The epidural went in with minimal fuss and the drip was started. Here we go! Or so we thought.

After about 6 hours, and lots of chatting i was checked to see how far gone i was, we had made it to 4 cm's! I was hoping it would be more, but at least it was progress! I had already had my waters broken in the morning (which was the most painful thing i had ever experienced... why they couldn't of done it after the epidural had been put in is beyond me...) and according to the monitor was contracting well, so the drip was increased.

That is when things started to go a bit down hill...

Emma did not like the increase at all. Every time i had a contraction her heart rate dipped. The midwives and doctors decided that they would monitor it for a while, but soon came to the idea that they would reduce the drip again. After a few more hours things had not got any better. Emma's heart rate was still dipping with the contractions, and at 9pm i was checked to see how dilated i was and we were gutted to find that i was still only 4 cm's! A decision had to be made... she would have to be born via EMCS (Emergency Caesarean Section).

Things went a bit mad after that, consent forms were signed and Phil was asked to change into scrubs for the operating theatre. Robyn bless her was not able to join us in the theatre which was really upsetting, poor girl had been through it over the past few days! Then we were taken to theatre.

All the checks were made, and the Local Anesthetic was given to me, however it didn't work! I had to be put under General Anesthetic and Phil had to leave the theatre and wait outside the doors!

Emma was born at 10:33pm on the 9th of December and she weighed 6lb 15oz! Phil heard her first cries and within 10 minutes she was passed to him in the corridor for first cuddles.

Unfortunately my first memories of her birth are no longer mine... i only remember opening my eyes and seeing Phil holding her and Robyn standing next to him. Then i remember being given a massive ice cube to suck on... that is it. I was heartbroken...

Phil had to leave the hospital at just after 1am and Emma and i were moved to a ward. I could go in to lots of detail about my stay in hospital but there is so much more to say so i shall just mention that Emma was perfect, i was in a lot of pain and could hardly move, not really ideal when you have just had a baby, but at least she was safe. It turns out the Emma would never of come out naturally because she was being pushed down onto my pelvis with each contraction, hence why her heart rate was dropping all the time. If we had not had the EMCS who knows what might of happened! As a result of the pushing she was born with a large bruise on the back of her head, which has now faded.

We had lots of checks from midwives and pediatricians on the ward and were finally discharged on Wednesday the 11th December. I could not wait to get home as i found it really hard to be in hospital without Phil and my home comforts. Especially as i could barely look after myself, let alone Emma due to the amount of pain i was in.

Now, you would think that this would be the end of my story... but no, it gets more complicated!

Whilst at home i found that i was struggling to catch my breath, it felt as though someone was standing on my chest and i was unable to lie down on my left side and back and breathe. At first i thought that it was just because i had had the EMCS, i thought that maybe it was normal and i was just going to have to wait until it healed. However by Sunday i decided that something wasn't right and at 11pm Phil, Emma, Phil's mum Chris and I arrived at the hospital. We were seen pretty quickly due to the nature of my complaint, after blood tests, monitoring and a doctor listening to my chest i was moved to a side room for further testing, which included a chest x-ray. We waited and waited and waited and at around 5am the consultant broke the news that i had Pneumonia. What the...!

Whilst it is not common, it is also not unheard of to catch Pneumonia after an operation, and i had caught it. I had a partial collapse on my right lung, and fluid on both lungs. No wonder i could hardly breathe! We were all in shock. After another long wait we were moved over to the maternity ward because the doctors decided it was safer for Emma to be away from the main hospital. We were again put in a private room and told that i would be having a CT scan to check for blood clots.

At around 8:30pm Phil and Chris had to leave, i was so upset... how could i look after my newborn baby by myself now that not only had i had major surgery, but also had a serious medical condition! I was devastated, and did not have a good night at all. Alongside that my right breast had cracked (due to Emma being offered it after my General Anesthetic and clearly she latched on wrong) and i was in agony with it. Although i had been trying to ride through the pain, with the new diagnosis i felt that it was just too much, so i expressed milk for her from that side. It was trial and error, my left breast was used a lot more because she didn't seem to get full from the amount given to her from expressing so i had to top her up from it each time. Then as a result it was becoming a little sore, i was so worried that we would have to stop breastfeeding, and the hospital midwives were useless with any advice and kept suggesting that i was not latching on correctly. I was getting really annoyed.

On Tuesday morning Phil arrived to Emma and I snuggled up together, which was lovely! We spent the whole day waiting for the CT scan, which eventually happened at 2pm. A dye was injected into my veins so they could test to see if the was a clot in my lungs or heart. It was horrible. I then went back to my prison cell... i mean side room! I was told that the doctor would have to review everything and would come back with a decision of what to do, however in the mean time i would start taking an antibiotic called Amoxicillin which would treat the Pneumonia and thus heal the collapse and reduce the fluid on my lungs.

More waiting and waiting, and then it was time for Phil to leave us again. I had really struggled with giving Emma the expressed milk and my left breast was continuing to get more tender, so we decided that Phil would get me some nipple shields so that i could hopefully stop expressing milk and start using my right breast again. We hoped that Emma would have a full feed off both breasts alternatively and i would not have to use the left breast to top up the right side expressed feed. I spoke to the midwives at the hospital about this idea and they were against it, but we didn't care... we are her parents, and as you will see shortly... we do know best, ha ha!

After another awful night of the midwives popping in to check my blood pressure every hour, and listening to them laughing and talking loudly in the hall i had had enough and was ready to leave. I was feeling so low, and Phil was really missing his girls at home. We had already had an awful birth experience and this second hospital stay was really pushing us to the limits. We had both had a good cry, and just needed to be home together as a family so we could try to fix the mess that had been caused.

We spent the morning together, relaxing and watching comedy shows on Phil's phone, it was really lovely. Plus the nipple shields are fantastic! Emma took to them straight away and we were able to carry on with our breastfeeding journey. I was so happy and proud of her, and of myself for persevering and ignoring the midwives opinions, I felt awesome!

I was desperate to go home and i could tell the midwives wanted to get rid of me too, i did not feel welcome at all. Out of the blue we were visited by a doctor who told me that she was going to try and get me home today, the consultant had decided that i did not have a clot but i was to have an ultrasound to see how much fluid there was on my lungs, and whether i would need to have it removed (they would do this by using a needle, inserted between my ribs, to draw out the fluid... i was not looking forward to that). She had a meeting to attend first but promised she would be back later to do the ultrasound.

Thankfully she kept to her word and arrived to my room at about 4pm, machine in tow, and got straight on with the ultrasound, i was so happy and impressed by her efficiency. She was satisfied that the fluid amount in both lungs was not large enough to need draining so her assistant gathered up the huge pile of needles and other items that she would of used to drain them... phew!

We were then told that the original doctors that had seen me on Sunday night would have to discharge me, but apparently they had not realised that i was still at the hospital! So that is why it had taken almost 4 days to get the the point of me being able to leave! Phil and I were furious! I had spent the past 4 days in the place i least wanted to be, and i was becoming mentally unwell. It had taken forever it seemed to organise and sort out something that could of been dealt with in maybe just 1 or 2 days.

However, thankfully the original doctors didn't waste any more time and came to my room quite soon after the lovely doctor had left to organise my discharge (i must just mention that the midwives had tried to get my to discharge myself... isn't that outrageous! As if i would do that!). They said the chemist had already sorted my medication to fight the Pneumonia and it was just a case of waiting for that to be delivered to me.

At 8pm Phil and I finally left the hospital... it was cold, and it was raining... but it was a magical moment and a few tears of joy and relief fell from my eyes.

The first 10 days of my daughter's life have been a mix of emotions, i am so happy and overwhelmed by her presence in our lives. She is amazing and we are incredibly lucky to have her. She is beautiful and healthy, and we look forward to every day with her.

Her birth though has been so traumatic for me, and now i have a serious illness that i need to get through. I have many issues with what has happened to me and my little family in the past week or so. I will deal with them one day, but for now i must hold on to the good things, and start to enjoy my time together with my husband and my daughter.

They say that children can break the strongest of relationships, but my love for Phil has never been stronger. He is my rock and i love him and need him more than i ever have... and he loves me too.

We are truly blessed...

Take Care All x

1 Week Left!

Hello Everyone,

Wow... i have made it to 39 weeks... 1 week to go! Argh! Who would of thought it! People said that for the last few weeks time seems to slow down, but not for me! It is still going at a ridiculous rate!

Baby Dave will be here soon, and because of our induction date this time next Tuesday (unless she comes earlier) i will hopefully be in the throes of labour!

Rewinding back a bit though, there is lots to tell...

So i had the regular 38 week midwife appointment last week and all was going really well until she measured my bump. Dave has been above the 50th centile line (almost at the 90th line at one stage) throughout the whole of my pregnancy, but with the new bump measurement that day Dave went below the 10th centile line for growth. You might think that that is ok, and that we shouldn't really worry because it is a tape measurement and they are not 100% accurate, but the midwife who measured me is the head midwife... so she knows what she is doing.

Anyway, she decided that i need another growth scan and contacted the hospital to book me in there and then. She also said that she would like me to go for regular CTG's (a trace of the baby's heartbeat), including having one that day. The hospital came back with an appointment time of 11:30 for the next Thursday and then i made my way to the MAU (Maternity Unit) to have the CTG.

I arrived at the hospital and was put on the monitor quite quickly. After just 30 minutes i was able to go home, all was well and i was asked to come back on Monday for another trace.

Then on Saturday i had my Baby Shower! I was so excited for my party! It was a small gathering of close family and friends and we had such a good time. My mother-in-law hosted it for me, and my sister Sharon took care of the games and activities! There was loads of food and so many laughs! I had a nice new top on that i bought especially and i felt really loved. I had a fantastic time and feel so lucky to have such a wonderful group of people around me.

On Monday morning Phil and i made our way to the hospital again for the second CTG. I was on the machine for almost an hour this time. Again it all went really well, although i didn't really feel Dave move much, and movement has slowed down quite a lot, that might just be normal though. The midwife said that i did not need to come in for another trace as i have my scan booked for Thursday. She also said that if i felt worried then i could always come back at any time.

That brings us to now, with a day or so to go until we have our growth scan. I have mixed feelings about it. I am really looking forward to seeing Dave again, seeing how much she has grown, and what is nice is that Phil has taken the day off so he can come along too. However i am not sure what our options will be following the scan... Will we be ok to wait until the 10th for our induction, or will they bring it forward? Maybe i will even be induced on Thursday?

Will she of grown enough by then to keep her in? Or will they think it is best to get her out as soon as possible? Chances are she is going to be smaller than we first thought, possibly just over 6lb, so we have bought a few tiny baby items for her just encase. It might be better for her to come out sooner rather than later because that way i will be able to look after her and feed her up quicker.

So this is where we are... teetering on the edge of the unknown. Our baby could be here in a few days... and she will be here for definite in just over a week.

Are we ready???

Of course we are... 6 days to go.

Take Care All x

Maternity Leave and Consultant Scan

Hello Everyone,

So we are now getting very close to Baby Dave's due date... scarily close in fact! Just over 3 weeks to go!

I have now started my maternity leave. My last day at work was such a strange one, everything i did i kept thinking 'last time i park my car there', 'last time i turn on my computer and open the front door', 'last time i use my work cup'... Luckily it was a busy day, i love working and enjoy being busy so i wasn't looking for the day to be a quiet one at all!

What was really wonderful is that after lunch i went back down to reception and everyone was there waiting, with flowers, a card, balloon and gift for me. I went bright red instantly  (and it took me about an hour to cool down afterwards!) and the senior partner John said a few words, then i said a little something, most probably really embarrassing, but it was nice to say a few things. Then before i knew it the day was over, and i shut down reception for the last time... as i was driving home i felt very strange and when i got in i let a few tears out, bless me...

Most people say that once you go on maternity leave time really slows down, but i am not too sure of that! Time is just disappearing for us. My whole pregnancy has gone quickly, and many others agree. The memory of me doing my first test is still fresh in my mind so we have got to this point now in the blink of an eye it seems. I guess because Christmas is coming up and i will be so busy trying to get that sorted and organised before Dave comes, plus we still have a few things to do in preparation for her. The days are just whizzing by!

The day after i left work i had a consultant appointment and scan at the hospital. My lovely mother-in-law came with me which was nice. We didn't have to wait long at all for the scan, i had barely finished doing my urine sample and we were called in! It was only brief, but the sonographer confirmed that Dave was growing really well, all was normal, and he estimated her current weigh at 5lb 11oz, so it looks like she isn't going to be a big girl, hopefully around the 7lb mark.

Then i went and had my blood pressure checked, urine checked etc with the midwife. She also had a quick look through my birth plan, and said that it was great, which was nice to know! Then we went in to see the consultant.

He checked to see what position Dave was in and confirmed that she is head down and 3/5th's engaged! That is amazing news! She is almost half way down and going the right way, i was so proud! That would explain all those pains i have been getting down below! He also said that he will request a date for our induction, saying that he would prefer it to be as close to Dave's due date as possible.

Then yesterday i received a call from a midwife at the hospital who was hoping to book my induction in. What!!! That was quicker than expected... So it has been booked in for 9am on the 10th December! Our due date! We can't believe it! We have the luxury of knowing that she will not be weeks late and it is so lovely to know that we won't have to play the waiting game or wonder when she will come. We are so lucky in that sense. Unless she comes early we will be at the hospital on the 10th and at least starting the process.

Obviously being induced on that day does not mean that she will be born that day, we may even get the 11/12/13 birth date which will be great, but it mean's that she will be a good distance away from Christmas. We are really excited and looking forward to it. We are so ready to have our miracle now...

24 days to go!

Take Care All x

35 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

We have just 5 weeks to go... 6 weeks maximum (because the consultant does not want us to go past 41 weeks due to IVF, so will give me an induction date close to the time)!

Oh my god... it is really happening isn't it? Before we know it Phil and I will be responsible for a small baby girl. We are both ready and not ready at the same time. How can you begin to comprehend how huge a change of lifestyle having a baby will be? We have been ready to be parents and have a family for a few years now... but have we really???

Well, there is nothing to be done now, Baby Dave is coming, and she is coming fast!

At my 34 week midwife appointment she confirmed that Dave is head down and starting to brim. I have a scan booked for the 36 week appointment and i hope that Dave has started to engage by then. I think she is trying to make her way in to my pelvis because i have had a fair amount of sharp twinges around that area. My midwife also confirmed that Dave is growing well so that is a great relief.

I am still enjoying a daily vomit every morning, except for this morning? Weird... I have been sick every day since 6 weeks, and now at 35 weeks i haven't. Maybe it has finally stopped? Or maybe it will be much worse tomorrow to make up for it! Ha ha. Dave is moving about and jabbing me in all sorts of places all day long, which is wonderful. I am grateful that i have the re-assurance of her movements daily.

Plus it seems i have finally got my first baby related stretch mark... boo! It is only tiny at the moment and just under my belly button, which has yet to pop out, but i don't think it will be much longer before it does!

We have finally had some real progress on Dave's nursery! It is beautiful, and only slightly messy still. There are a few bits to still sort out but i think in the next couple of weeks it will be finished and i will be able to put a picture of it on here for you all!

We went to the BabyShow at the Olympia, Kensington a couple of weeks ago and had such a fantastic time! We travelled up to London on the train/ tube with my friend Lauren and her little family and spent the day there. I do think it is better to go to the show when you still need to buy a lot of things for your little one, but it was still worth it for us to go. It was a great experience and we got some lovely freebies as well as ordered the glider nursing chair for Dave's room. At a discount too!

I now only have 4 more shifts at work left until my maternity leave starts. The last week i am doing 3 of those shifts in a row, which is really tough. I find myself getting really tired mid afternoon so it will be interesting to see how my last week goes. Once that is out of the way though i can really start to concentrate on getting Christmas organised. Trying to sort Christmas in December will be a nightmare, so everything really needs to be all ready and wrapped before the 1st December, which is when we will put up our tree! So exciting!!!

So 35 days to go until we are 40 weeks... the countdown begins.

Take Care All x

4D Scan!

Hello Everyone!

Time needs to seriously slow down! It is getting ridiculous now! I don't understand how it has been almost 3 weeks since my last update! We had our 4D scan 2 weeks ago but it feels like it was done yesterday?! It won't be much longer and this pregnancy will be over... for the moment though I am enjoying all of the kicks and jabs this little one is giving me. Even the ones that hurt!

So a few things to catch up on since my last post... the most fantastic being that we had our 4D scan at Bourn Hall on the 1st of October! Driving to the clinic was so exciting, it was such a nice feeling to know that we were going back to the place where our miracle began.

The lady who was performing the scan for us was so lovely, it is an expensive extra to have done but I think it was totally worth every penny. It should usually last 30-40 minutes in total, with the option to buy a DVD of the scan for an extra £35. We were still undecided as to whether we were going to purchase that, and told her that we would see how baby behaves first.

So the scan began at 10:15 and straight away Phil and I were amazed by Dave, she was perfect! Unfortunately my placenta is Anterior, this means it is at the front of my womb rather than the back, which means that Dave is using it as a pillow. Therefore it is covering most, if not all of her face. This then means that the photos would not be as brilliant as you would hope for, but I think they are still fantastic:

 

Dave was being a right pickle and was clearly asleep so the lady said that we should have a drink and some biscuits (all provided!) and have a walk round the grounds so she could try again in a few minutes. She had another lady coming in at 11am for a quick scan and then we could go back in.

After about 20 minutes we were back in the scanning room and although Dave was still in an awkward position, with her face firmly wedged into my placenta, she was awake! As a result of that we got some movement and were about to see her open her mouth (we saw her gums, so cute!), stretch and turn her head and play with her hands. Most of the time her foot was up next to her head, crazy child!

In total we were in 4D mode for about an hour and a half!!! The lady gave us 31 photos of Dave and a short DVD of her with no extra charge. She said it was because Dave didn't really move about much so it would not be fair charging for it. When we got home we watched the DVD and agree that whilst it isn't fantastic it still has a few brief moments of amazement.

I am so glad that we had the 4D scan in the end, not only was it beautiful to see Dave, it also helped calm some fears of mine. I was able to see that her face was normal, and that she had fingers and toes, something that they don't look for in regular scans. It also means that when we think about her, and imagine her in my tummy we can imagine a real face, rather then a grainy black and white 2D image.

There are a few things coming up in the next couple of days. On Thursday I have a 32 week appointment with the consultant, my mother in law is coming with me bless her. Then on Friday we have our first Antenatal Class, all very exciting! Also on Saturday we should be receiving our new choice of furniture from Mama's and Papa's! Just need to get the SilverCross stuff picked up so we can build it and then hopefully get her room organised!

Phil put up the curtain pole and we hung her curtains at the weekend, it is looking a bit pink in her room! Well... all except a lovely little brown rocking horse called Buddy that was lovingly owned by my niece Caitlin and nephew Jack. He is so gorgeous and I can not wait until Dave is able to enjoy it too!

Things are becoming increasingly more real, especially as I have now started packing my hospital bag and have washed and ironed all of her clothes, sheets etc. We are starting to become very excited about her imminent arrival!

Until next time...

Take Care All x

Growing Bigger...

Hello Everyone!

Wow... the last month has just whizzed past! I really am struggling to get my head around how quickly this pregnancy is going. It is starting to make me feel a bit sad that in just 10 short weeks it will all be over and i will not be pregnant anymore... obviously i will have my little baby girl, but i will definitely miss being pregnant.

Madness i hear you shout! It is true! Even though i have spent the last 29 weeks or so worried, nervous and sick as a dog i will miss her kicking and tumbling about in my tummy. I will miss the joy that i feel when i catch my ever expanding bump in a mirror, and i will miss just sitting quietly, holding my lovely bump and dreaming about my baby girl.

What has become really wonderful is that her movements are much more obvious to us both. Not only is she kicking me often now, she is also rolling around in there! It is such a weird sensation, but weirder still it is not bizarre... what i mean is that it feels totally normal to feel her just kicking and prodding away randomly through the day and night. We like to just sit staring at my tummy moving and creating all sorts of shapes!

I really can't get my head around the fact that we are over 29 weeks pregnant now, i am so eager to start 'nesting' and getting her room, clothes and other bits sorted. I will be packing my hospital bag shortly and we have pretty much got everything she needs. Alongside the countdown to her birth we have Christmas to sort out too... this moment really is the calm before the storm. It think these last 10 weeks will go incredibly quickly due to how busy they will be.

We just got back from our lovely break in Caister, it was at a Haven's caravan park and we had a really great time. Although i was shattered at the end of the day it was really relaxing for us both. We did a lot of walking and Phil steered us around some lakes of the broads in a little boat! It really was a fantastic holiday and as you can see below i felt really calm throughout it all...

The next thing for us to look forward to is happening in just a few days! On Tuesday we are going back to Bourn Hall for our 4D scan. To say we are excited is an understatement! I really can't wait to see our baby again, it has been 10 weeks since our last time and i am sure it will be amazing!

So now it is just more waiting... that is all we seem to do!

Take Care All x

25 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

Once again look how much time it has been between now and my last blog! I really must stop messing about and make more of an effort with this! After all, the other week i read back through some of my earlier posts and i loved it! I am so glad that i have made this blog!

Right, so what has been happening with me and Dave! Well... we are viable! Once you get past the 24 week mark your baby has a much better chance of survival, with each day and week past that time making it much more likely. Plus the hospital is able to help your little one if he or she comes too early once you are past 24 weeks. This has been a huge weight off my mind and shoulders... i feel much more confident in actually getting to keep my baby girl now.

I know you are itching to know, and the answer is yes... i am still being sick every day. Ha ha, oh it is such fun! Sometimes it is worse than others, but still not very pleasant. Still, i can't start my day without a visit to the loo with my orange bucket! I have also noticed that my breasts have started growing again, i seem to be getting more and more veins, and i am started to get tired again. I have now gained 8lbs in total, which i guess is a good thing. Plus, touch wood, i haven't yet got any stretch marks... although i expect that will change soon enough!

My little bump is ever-expanding and i think it is at maximum capacity now so will most likely start getting huge from now on, especially as Dave will now be piling on the pounds too! I am feeling lots of kicks and hiccups throughout the day, it would be nice to feel more and i hope that as she gets bigger she will pack more of a punch! It is really lovely that Phil is able to feel her bigger kicks and movements now too.

We have finally cleared her room out of all the extra stuff and rubbish we had stored! Some of it went in the bin, some went in the loft and some of it was finally sorted out and put into 'really useful boxes' under our bed in our bedroom. Then we painted 1 of her bedroom walls pink and refreshed the other 3 walls with magnolia (classic!) before piling all of the things we have bought for her neatly on the floor. I spoke to the company who are delivering the furniture we have ordered for her today and they estimate that we will have it all delivered within the next 2 weeks! Then we will get her mattress! It is all happening!!!

I really can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going...

We have got so much to look forward to in the coming months anyway, which will keep our minds off of the waiting, firstly we have my brother's wedding coming up on the 22nd September, then the day after that Phil and I are going on holiday to Caister, Great Yarmouth! Plus the other day i booked our 3D/4D scan for the 1st October at Bourn Hall! We are really looking forward to it and are so excited to see our baby girl again!

Lastly, i have organised my maternity leave, which makes this having a baby lark even more real! My official leaving date is the 1st December but i am using up some annual leave so my last working day is Wednesday 13th November! Only 76 days to go! I am so excited!!!

Our little longed for miracle will be with us before we know it, and i for one can't wait!

Take Care All x

Anomaly Scan and Gender Results!

Hello Everyone! 

Wow... im a bit late with my update! Sorry about that but i just can't seem to keep myself awake to write it! 

So as you all know we had our 20 week scan last week, and it was brilliant! We had to sit in the same waiting area as we did last year when we were seeing the consultant in the hope to be put forward for IVF, so that was weird... and surreal. I was looking around at the other people waiting to be seen, wondering what their stories were, a few were obviously pregnant, but some were not, and they were with their partners or mums. I had all sorts of emotions running through my mind, i was so happy to be there and to be sporting my lovely bump, but i was also sad for those woman, who had to look at me and not know my story, just like me all those months ago. 

I didn't have much time to dwell on things though as we were called in to the scan room really quickly. The sonographer asked me how i was feeling in general, had i been feeling the baby kicking at all (YES!) and were we interested to know the gender of our baby. She asked me to lie down and then switched on the screen opposite so we could watch the whole scan! I have spoken to a few people about their scans and unfortunately quite a few people have said that they barely got to see their babies, so i did feel very lucky!

Throughout the scan she was taking her time to show us everything she was looking for, pointing out all of our little baby's organs etc. The one thing i was most anxious to see was that Dave had all his/ her arms and legs. Not for my vanity, but for Dave... it must be so hard growing up without them. The sonographer then went through Dave's whole body, showing us his/ her facial features, spine, limbs, brain, liver, kidneys etc... finally showing us Dave's heart, which was perfect! What i really loved about the sonographer was that she was very thorough... if she didn't see something at the time of looking she made sure she had seen it by the time we left. That is just what you want from a scan!

At one point she asked me what i had eaten for breakfast, i'd had jam on toast, she said 'ah, that would be why baby is moving around lots then', ha ha!

Also, another wonderful thing happened, we were just watching the screen and we saw Dave's whole body literally jump and i felt it! It was so wonderful not only for me, but Phil could see that the feelings that i have had were being caused by him/ her doing something! Near the end of the scan the sonographer said she was going to see if baby would tell us what gender they were, and without any trouble Dave became a GIRL (sorry about the picture, she was covering her face with her hands!).

So there we go! My prediction came true! We are going to have a gorgeous little daughter in December. Phil and I are so excited!

The weekend after the scan we went to Lakeside and did some PINK shopping, which was so lovely. We bought lots of nice bits for her room!

Our next appointment is in just 2 days, and it is with the consultant who we originally spoke to. It will be nice to talk through any problems i have, like the fact that i am still being sick, and also that i have only put on 4lb!

Until then though,

Take Care All x

19 Weeks and Movement!

Hello Everyone!

Wow... it has been quite a while since the last time i posted, oops! I can only guess that it is because the weeks are just flying by! Honestly, it is ridiculous! In 1 week we will be half way through our first pregnancy and i just can't believe it!

Although we are months past the 12 week mark i am still 'enjoying' being sick every morning... no one told me this was going to happen! Although i moan about it i don't really mind either! It is nice to know that my little baby is growing so much that my body is still responding to it. I have also for the past few weeks been experiencing the delight that is backache. Oh it does hurt... but again, i wouldn't change a thing!

I have been really enjoying listening to my tummy with my Doppler, i do so every few days or when i feel a bit worried and i always find Dave's heartbeat, which is so reassuring. It has been lovely to follow the growth of not only Dave but also my uterus. It is amazing to me that at the beginning i heard the heartbeat really low down in my pelvis and now i can find it around my belly button! How fantastic is that?

Also over the past couple of weeks i have been experiencing what i describe as little flutters and bubbles in my tummy. I haven't been 100% sure that this was Dave moving about, and i was constantly doubting it. Especially as it would only happen maybe once or twice throughout the day, and some day's not at all? However, today things changed... i was just relaxing on the sofa after having a particularly awful morning of sickness and i felt a quick succession of flutters and bubbles, all in the same place and it lasted for about 5 minutes, then it slowed down so i gave my tummy a poke and there was Dave, responding to my poke with kicks and prods! It was so beautiful that i just lay there for the next 15 minutes, feeling my miracle baby move about within me, with tears falling down my face at the wonder of it all...

We have 7 days to go until our Anomaly Scan, the 20 week scan, and we are so excited about seeing Dave again, and hopefully finding out his/ her gender! I still think i have a little girl in my tummy, and Phil is being controversial and saying that it is a boy, he just wants a difference of opinion to me though! Ha ha. It will be fantastic to be able to see how much Dave has grown, and check that everything is going well... fingers crossed aye?

Also after the scan we will be able to start committing to buying all of the things we have chosen for our baby. Monitors, furniture, clothing, toys, bears, bedding etc... it will be so much fun! We have already ordered our pram though! The SilverCross Wayfarer in Damson. We absolutely love it!

So much excitement still coming our way!

Take Care All x

16 Week Midwife Appointment

Hello Everyone!

Today we had our 16 week appointment which was brilliant. When we arrived it was a bit strange as we were in a communal room with other pregnant couples and a lady (who weirdly, was also pregnant) was testing our wee samples and blood pressure, which were fine. Then after a short while we were called in to see the midwife.

She went through our notes, asked us a few questions about test results and whether i had all the appointments booked that i needed. Then she said that she was going to see if she could find Dave's heartbeat. Before she used the Doppler she warned that she might not be able to find the heartbeat straight away, and that it could take a few minutes. Then she put the Doppler onto my tummy, just below my belly button and there Dave was! Beating away like a trouper! Ha ha ha, Phil and I did laugh, i felt so proud of my baby for being good.

Then we had a general chat about things, she asked if i had any questions, so i got out my bit of paper (so organised!) and said to her that i am still being sick every day, i haven't put any weight on and that i was experiencing a lot more discharge in the last week. She put our minds at ease and said that it was all perfectly fine and that she wasn't worried.

After the appointment we went to Tesco as they have a baby event on at the moment and picked up a few bargains, including 576 baby wipes! Ha ha. That should keep us going, well until we look into Asda's baby event in a few weeks...

Then when we got home i went through the various clothes that Robyn had sold to me a few years back, unfortunately a lot of them are unsuitable because her babies were born in the summer and mine will be a winter baby. Never mind... it will just mean we have lots of lovely shopping to do!

Speak of which we are going to go and look at more prams this weekend which we love to do! Phil said it is just like buying a car, typical of him, but i am so glad he is as excited as me!

Other than all of that going on what is really wonderful at the moment is that i finally have a reason to wear maternity clothes! I love them! I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to even buy those type of things, and seeing myself in the mirror with my ever expanding belly is enough to make me cry with tears of joy.

So just before i go i thought it might be nice to show you all a little bump photo i took last week:

Take Care All x

100...

Hello Everyone,

 

We are now just over 14 weeks into our miracle pregnancy and have hit 100 days in! I can not believe how quickly this is all going. Soon we will be 15 weeks and then we will only have 25 left to go! Plus we all know how quickly Christmas comes around!

 

Things are going so rapidly and the appointments keep coming in thick and fast! This is my schedule so far:

 

27th June - 16 Week midwife appointment.

 

23rd July - 20 Week scan! Eek!

 

1st August - Consultant appointment.

 

Then my brother is getting married in September, Phil's birthday in November, plus I expect there will be more and more appointments along the way. I would like to organise to do Antenatal classes and Aquanatal swimming classes. So before we know it December will be here and Baby Dave will be on his way!!!

 

Oh god...

 

Since my last post we have received the results of our Down's test and I am so happy to say that we are very low risk. The bracket for high risk is anything lower than 1:150, our risk is 1:46108! Phew... obviously these tests are not 100% but it gives us a better chance that Baby Dave is well.

 

We have an AngelSounds Doppler at home so we could detect Dave's heartbeat and I had tried to find it a few times before without any luck. However, on my birthday Dave decided to give me a little treat and we found it! It was so wonderful! He was very low down, practically under my pelvic/ pubic bone so no wonder we couldn't find him before! Anyway... about 5 days after that I seemed to have suddenly ballooned, it isn't fat because I have actually lost a couple of pounds again, so I thought I would investigate and realised that Dave and my uterus/ womb have moved up out of my pelvis and are now about 2 inches higher!

 

As a result of this is will now need to go and get a few maternity clothes, which we will be doing on Sunday! How very exciting! I have already ordered some shoes for work, they do have a slight heel as I am very short but they are wedges so will be ok.

 

Other than that my symptoms are the same. I am still being sick every morning, my breasts are still becoming very blue and I am still very sleepy a lot of the time. Tonight is the last night of using the Crinone Gel though, and I will be so glad to see the back of that stuff! It is awful.

 

I will now sign off with a little note to tell you all that we are getting fish and chips for dinner tonight and I am so excited about it! Ha ha... love a bit of a craving!

 

Take Care All x

13 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

 

I thought it might be an idea to let you all know how our scan went!

 

We had it last Friday in the afternoon and it was wonderful. Whilst we were waiting to be seen I started to feel quite nervous, Phil was ok though! Ha ha. Then we were called in, I got on the bed/ couch thing and prepared myself for the cold ultrasound gel. I don't know if they have changed things, or if it had been in the sun, but it was hot! It threw me off a bit!

 

After about a second there was the wonderful image of our little miracle baby on the screen, heart beating away and looking perfect. The sonographer then proceeded to check everything was in the right place, brain, heart, spine, kidneys, legs, arms etc... We then listened to our baby's heartbeat, which was beating away at 167bpm! Madness!

 

Dave was moving about the whole time, we could see his/ her arms and legs waving away, it was so beautiful.

 

 

The sonographer then put our dates back by 1 day, so we are now due on the 10th December, my friend Lauren's birthday!

 

It was then time to check Dave's probability of having Downs Syndrome, this is done by measuring the liquid that is behind his/ her neck. Our measurement was 1.7mm, which is a good size, but I have also had a blood test which will be combined with the measurement result and give us a percentage as to whether Dave will have the condition or not. I expect we will get the results in a few more days.

 

After the scan we went to Mothercare and ordered Dave's crib and mattress, and got a few things to help me be more comfortable. It was really exciting to be able to go into Mothercare and actually order something for us and our baby!

 

Then when we got home we told the world about our miracle via Facebook. The response we received was amazing. We are so lucky to have such a wonderful support network or friends and family. Dave is going to be the luckiest baby in the world, Phil and I love him/ her so much already...

 

 So now it is just up to Dave to keep growing and getting bigger and stronger, 3 weeks now until my next midwife appointment, and the 4 more weeks after that until our next scan?!

 

It is going so fast, but I for one am loving the ride...

 

Take Care All x

Out of the Danger Zone?

Hello Everyone!

According to our first scan which dated us at 7 weeks and 1 day we should now be 12 weeks pregnant today. Of course this date could be wrong, and I expect that our due date will be changed at our scan on Friday, but for now we are assuming that we have finally reached that magical date.

Now is the time that not only our risk of miscarriage is significantly reduced, but also my delightful pregnancy symptoms should be getting easier to manage. There is no use expecting that to happen right now though, as my body happily showed me this morning (note to self, breakfast should be eaten after you have thrown up, not before!). Still, after 6 weeks of morning sickness now I will be grateful for even just a little break now and then...

I feel like a bit of a hermit at the moment. I don't want to go on about it all the time but it really does interrupt my life. I haven't really been able to go out and see friends or family. I can't tidy my home (which really gets me down) and I can't cook dinner for Phil. It is like I am stuck in some kind of limbo and I can't wait to break free of it! Imagine if I wasn't on the anti-sickness tablets... what would it be like that?!

Anyway, that's enough of that doom and gloom... our scan is on Friday! It is at 3pm and we are so excited! Nervous... but excited all the same! I don't really know what to expect but I am sure that it will be brilliant and we are taking lots of change so we can get a lovely picture of Dave. Then when we get home we will be announcing our pregnancy to the world! I don't know why but I am so nervous about telling everyone! Mad isn't it! Still, it will be brilliant!

Before we come home though we will be going to Mothercare and (hopefully, if all goes well) buying Dave's crib. I know that it is still early days, but we have waited for years for this moment and I am not waiting anymore! I can't! We have done well not to buy anything so far as it is! It will be so fantastic to actually be able to buy something for once.

Loads of wonderful things to come, bring on Friday!

Take Care All x

10 Weeks Down!

Hello Everyone!

 

Well... what a whirlwind these past few weeks have been! I can not believe how quickly this is all happening. It seems like only yesterday we were getting our head round the idea that we will be having IVF. Now, after a short while it seems, we are pregnant with our little miracle.

 

You may recall in the earlier days of this blog I said something along the lines of 'I will not moan throughout my pregnancy'. Well I can tell you that I have moaned... a lot... ha ha! It is only really because of the morning (midday, afternoon, evening, night-time) sickness though. The tiredness I can deal with, I love bed! It is purely just this constant feeling of nausea and the fact that I am now, without fail vomiting every morning. Nice...

 

I hope I am one of the 'lucky' sufferers of morning sickness (or Hyperemesis, as it has been written on my notes) that stop feeling this way once the 12 week barrier is passed. I have just about had enough of it now, considering it started at 6 weeks exactly! I have become a bit of a recluse really, but I am hoping that once the nausea stops I will be able to get on with my life as normal again!

 

Amongst that symptom I still get tired a lot, I have dizzy spells and the odd minor headache. I also have a lovely roadmap of veins that are appearing all the time, not just on my breasts but also my legs. My tummy feels as though it is starting to stretch, although I am yet to have a visible 'bump'. My hair and nails are growing rapidly, and my bottom often 'pipes up' throughout the day! I guess my least attractive symptom is the fine hair that is growing on my tummy. How disgusting!

 

Our meeting with the midwife was brilliant, although she did say that I was probably dehydrated, and my blood pressure was quite low, but that is normal. It was just so lovely to finally get my 'bounty pack' and notes. It made it so much more real somehow. I even had to take it with me to a blood test and it probably looked like I was displaying it with pride, ha ha!

 

As the days pass this pregnancy is becoming more and more real. Sometimes I am still caught by the awe of it all. I am pregnant... I can't believe it! Phil and I are still in shock I think? We are both incredibly happy though. To think that in just 30 weeks (this number may seem a lot, but it really isn't!) the child that we have been waiting for will be here. Madness...

 

We are soon to have our 12 week scan, it is booked for the 31st May, when I will (should) be 12 weeks and 2 days. We are really looking forward to seeing baby Dave again, and seeing how he/she has progressed since the 7 week scan. I do find myself worrying that something will go wrong, or be wrong with Dave, but Phil keeps on telling me that it will all be perfect so I should try and hold on to that really... it is hard though.

 

Still, I must be positive! There is a lot to look forward to, and I want to just put it in writing now that I think baby Dave is going to be a girl... just a feeling!

 

Take Care All x

We're Pregnant!!!

Hello Everyone!

Well i think my title says it all! Ha ha! I was going to be vague about it at first but then i thought, why not shout it from the rooftops!

Our scan was so wonderful, whilst Phil was a bit nervous for some reason i wasn't? Strange... We arrived at the clinic and went to sit in the waiting room. It was quite funny really, we were sitting there, relaxed, reading magazines and drinking tea! You wouldn't think we were about to see if we were pregnant or not!

We were called into the room and i got undressed and got myself sorted (it was an internal scan, i guess as it is still early days a normal ultrasound is not good enough?) on the chair and we got started. It must be so hard for the nurse when the scan results in bad news, i for one would not like to be in her shoes.

I think she quickly flashed through my uterus/ womb to try and see the embryo before we did so she could prepare herself, but we saw it! In all its glory! Then satisfied with her check she showed us our lovely little baby. Just 1 in there thankfully! Baby Dave (our embryo's nickname) was beautiful, and what was even more lovely was watching his little heart beating away. That is all we wanted to see, that our little one was in the right place and that he was alive.

Then she went through all the other parts of the scan, including checking the speed of his heartbeat, which was 133 beats per minute, and then she printed us off a picture of Dave:

So there is our lovely little baby, who was on the day of the scan 7 weeks and 1 day old and was almost 1cm in size! Also what is really lovely is that our due date is 11/12/13! What a fantastic date! Maybe Dave will be born at 9:10 and weigh 7lb8oz? Wouldn't that be easy to remember?

I don't think it has sunk in yet, although my symptoms are doing their best to inform me of his presence! I am constantly nauseous, and have actually vomited a fair few times too! My stomach has grown already, although i think that it is just bloating! My breasts are huge too so after the scan we went to Mothercare and bought some new bras. Still i am looking on the bright side of things and i am glad that i have symptoms, it gives me confidence in this pregnancy.

I was then told that i am still to continue with the Crinone Gel (grrr) for another month and also that i needed to contact my doctor from now on as we were finished with Bourn Hall (which is so sad...), so naturally i called my doctor straight away and have an appointment with a nurse on Wednesday (1st May)!

As the days pass by we are both getting more and more excited about our little Baby Dave, Phil is looking after the both of us really well, cleaning my bucket out for me and helping me relax. He is really excited about being a daddy. My sister in law said to me 'i am going to be an auntie!' and i replied 'i am going to be a mummy!' Wow... i have never said that before, and to be able to say that was just wonderful to me...

Phil tells me that i need to stop blaming Dave for everything, 'baby Dave wants another biscuit, not me!' and 'baby Dave keep's farting!'. Ha ha! I love that we are more relaxed about it all now and that we can start to enjoy our pregnancy.

Exciting things are coming for us, let's all keep our fingers crossed!

Take Care All x

Not Long Now!

Hello Everyone!

We now have less than 48 hours until we have our early scan to see if our first attempt at IVF has miraculously worked and we are feeling very excited (but still a bit cautious of course) about it!. This past week has thankfully gone relatively quickly, which we are really grateful for.

My symptoms are getting progressively worse, especially the tiredness and sickness/ nausea. I can deal with the tiredness because quite frankly i like sleeping! Ha ha! The nausea and sickness is beyond ridiculous now though. I am unable to do anything as i am constantly reaching for my orange bucket. Even then it isn't a huge amount of sick but it sure does feel like it will be at the time!

The nausea is waking me up in the night, at least twice a night for the past couple of nights, Meaning that i have to sit up in bed, cuddling my bucket, slowly eating a ginger biscuit. Poor Phil wakes up too and feels bad as there is nothing he can do, bless him. I guess all i can do is wait for this phase to pass, i only hope it will be sooner rather than later!

I am really enjoying reading the 'what to expect when you are expecting' book. It really is an excellent read and i would recommend it to everyone! It is giving me lots of brilliant tips, as are my family and friends!

Tonight is going to be interesting! I will be going to go for a nap shortly because at 10:20pm tonight a taxi will arrive to take me to the BBC radio station in Chelmsford as i am going to be talking live (with other pregnant ladies too) on the BBC Radio 5 Live 11pm show 'Bump Club'. They are going to be talking about IVF tonight and i am really looking forward to doing it. I am also a bit nervous about saying something silly, but i am sure i will be ok. I will probably fall asleep in the taxi on the way home though! I just hope i don't have a long period of nausea throughout the show. That would be horrible... i must remember to take my ginger biscuits!

So now it is really just a case of getting through tomorrow and then travelling up to Bourn Hall on Thursday to hopefully have our long awaited dreams come true.

I really do hope they do...

Take Care All x

Count down to Scan Day!

Hello Everyone!

So it has been a fair few days since my last post and quite a lot has happened. I have wanted to write a new post for over a week now but to be honest i have been absolutely knackered! Sometimes i have had to have a nap in the afternoon and most nights i am in bed by 9pm. This might sound normal to some people but i don't usually fall asleep until after midnight!

My second test date was on Monday (15th) and as i expected it came back positive (the numbers are days past transfer):

I have done quite an amount of testing this past week, including a Clearblue one and all of them have come back positive, the most recent ones turning very positive (the test line has been stronger than the control line) the minute my wee (TMI, he he) hits them!

What was really nice was the Clearblue test showing me this:

It was so lovely to see those words 'Pregnant', and the 3+ weeks showed me that my HCG levels are rising, which the increasingly strong lines have been proving too. I couldn't stop looking at it! Luckily the result disappears after about 24 hours so i could carry on with the rest of my life! Ha ha.

So after my positive on Monday i called to clinic to let them know and they confirmed that my scan will be on the 25th April (next Thursday) at 2:15pm! It is very exciting but nerve-wracking at the same time! We are counting down the days that thankfully so far are going quite quickly. Just over a week to go until the time where we will see if our first attempt has worked. We will be so lucky if it has! As long as there is at least 1 little baby growing in there we will be incredibly happy, if there are 2 then that is great too!

My symptoms continue to increase in severity and i am not complaining (well... maybe a little bit). I am glad that i am feeling this way because it must mean that someone is in there, making me feel this way, creating all of the changes inside me.

The worst still is the tiredness, especially when i am at work... but a close contender is a lovely change to an old symptom... nausea. So now not only do i feel sick pretty much the whole day i have for the past few days actually been sick (only a little bit though), and because i am a bit different to most people, my 'morning sickness' only occurs in the evening. Usually whilst i am eating dinner, how lovely.

Amongst other things my breasts are showing me a lot of changes too, my areolas are definitely different, they seem to be darker and also slightly bigger. I also am still growing lots and lots of huge veins across my breasts and my nipples are still tingling at times.

So now it is another wait until our scan next week, we are still remaining cautious but we can't help but get a little bit more excited as the time goes on. We did buy a copy of 'what to expect when you are expecting' and i have been reading a little each day, which has been lovely. It is nice to know that the things that i am feeling are all normal.

I just hope that we can continue to be lucky and are blessed with a perfect, happy and healthy son or daughter in around 7-8 months time...

Take Care All x

Official Test Date (OTD)

Hello Everyone,

First of all a little apology, i noticed that yesterday i had over 80 views on my blog, all of those probably looking to find out the result of my OTD test. I am sorry but i was at work yesterday and last night i was falling asleep at 8pm!

So the result is... BFP!!!

We can't believe it! We are so happy, it is truly a miracle! People keep saying that the lines are really dark but of course i am still worried. I know that a BFP doesn't always mean a baby, so we are still excited but cautious...

I called the clinic to let them know of the outcome and they said that i am to do another test next Monday (the 15th) and if that is also positive they will arrange a scan for me. They said the scan is usually done around day 35-40 after ovulation, today is day 19 so i would estimate that the scan will be in the last week of April.

I am still having lots of lovely symptoms. I say lovely because i would rather have them than not have them. The one that is most noticeable is the constant tiredness, i am literally falling asleep most nights at 8pm-9pm! It is ridiculous, especially as i am a night owl and usually don't even feel tired after midnight!

I have no new symptoms to record, just a few changes... my nipples have become more sensitive and i swear my boobs are sprouting new veins daily! I also had a lot of cramping a few days ago (i am hoping it is the embryo getting nice and snuggled!).

Phil and i are slowly getting used to the idea that we are pregnant. Of course we are still aware of the problems that could arise, but i am keeping my lucky pants and bracelet nearby and we are keeping a positive mind for a positive outcome. There are times when we are really excited, i have caught Phil looking at my tummy a few times and it is hard to get Embie Dave out of our minds. We just really want this to be our chance to be a family.

It is nice to imagine the progression of my pregnancy, significant dates, like the 20 week scan, embie's due date etc... it is nice to look at prams and cribs, baby clothes and car seats. It is what keeps us going and helps us to remain positive, we deserve this little bit of luck.

We can only keep our fingers crossed that we continue to get BFP's and that when the scan date does come around there will be a tiny little fetus (or 2 of them!) all snuggled up and growing nicely in my womb.

The waiting game continues...

Take Care All x

12dp2dt

Hello Everyone!

As you know we are in the 2 week wait (although technically it is 16 days long... yes... too long!) and i am doing ok, i think...

It is a bit strange really, and i find myself  1 minute thinking 'this is going really well, nice and smoothly, no problems' and then the next minute i am going mad, 'it's not worked, AF (period) is coming, no baby for us'... nightmare.

Whilst i know that 'symptoms' can be fabricated by your mind, they can be a result of both AF and pregnancy, plus they can also be due to the Crinone gel that i am using daily (for progesterone support) i am still going to keep a note of them, you know... just encase...

So this week has seen the arrival of many symptoms, some old (that i have had in previous months) and some new which i will go into detail about below.

Old Symptoms:

Fatigue: although never as bad as this, i have been almost falling asleep as early as 8:30pm! I am a night owl usually, and often don't fall asleep until past midnight so this is a really noticeable difference.

Nausea and Vomiting: in the past i have had feelings of nausea but this is much more constant. Plus i have had a few episodes of random vomiting, not enough to require my head down a toilet but enough to notice that it isn't normal.

Breasts changes: i usually have very painful boobs for the week before AF arrives, so much so that it feels like i want to just cut them off! I have had mild pain but nothing like what i usually have. They do seem bigger than usual and my areola's do seem to be slightly darker, but this could be related to AF also.

Cramping: a few days before AF is due i usually get a few cramps throughout the day, these are very dull and can last for quite a while. The cramps i have been having are very different to that though, these feel sharper, and are only on one side. I think that they could possibly be due to constipation too though.

New Symptoms:

Dizziness: almost every time i stand up i have to be slow about it as i can get very dizzy, very quickly!

Smell: i don't know if i am just more aware of things or if i really can smell things easier. For the last week i have been not only smelling perfume/ deodorant etc on people but also B.O is very obvious to me, which makes me feel quite sick. It was quite shocking really! Everything just seems to be stronger smelling.

Headaches: i have pretty much had a headache for the whole of this week and it is not letting up.

Mood: i haven't had my usual happy 1 minute, angry the next mood swings. This time though i am crying a lot, and i mean a lot! I cried at a radio advert, TV programs (someone made a really nice dish on Masterchef and i cried my eye's out for her!), things i have read that i wouldn't usually cry at. Sometimes i just start to cry and i have no idea why!

Constipation: i have been really constipated this week, but that could be a result of the progesterone.

There have been a few more 'symptoms' i am sure but i can't really remember them all. Should of written them down... oh well! Of course even with these symptoms we are still sticking to our 'positive but cautious' outlook.

We now have 4 more days until out OTD (official test date) and they are not passing quick enough! I am trying to keep myself busy, seeing family and friends, sleeping (ha ha!) and this weekend my friend Robyn and i are going to a craft show at the Excel in London, we can't wait!!!

So until Monday... fingers crossed!

Take Care All x

5dp2dt

Hello Everyone!

 

The blog title is a bit strange right?

 

It means  that i am currently 5 days past a 2 day transfer, for a 'normal' pregnancy this would put me at 7 days past ovulation, half way through the 2 week wait (2ww). For me though that is not the case as with our clinic we have to wait to test until we are 16dp2dt... so as you can see i have a little while to go yet!

 

I have had a fair few 2ww's in the past (36 to be exact!). Some of them quickly passing and some of them taking absolute ages! This 2ww though will be the hardest of all, and i know this because it has only been 5 days since we had our perfect little embryo put back in and already im thinking hurry up 2ww!!!

 

I hate wishing my life away, i think i mentioned this last year, one of the things that annoyed me the most about our time spent trying to conceive naturally was that i had wasted the best part of 2 years living my life in 2 week increments. We were either waiting for ovulation or in the 2ww, and it sucked! Imagine the things i could have achieved in that 2 year period, i could of studied something, changed my life somehow, but no, i just spent the whole time waiting for those 2 little lines to show on a test, and they never came...

 

It is so hard not to think about the embryo all the time, especially now as for the next couple of days it should (hopefully) be implanting into my womb lining. I do have a few 'symptoms' but they could just be symptoms of the Crinone Gel (which by the way is disgusting). At the moment i am very bloated, i feel sick, i have massive painful boobs, i have had a few episodes of bleeding gums (this is think could be due to a hormone being released to help the embryo implant) which is something i never have and i am having a few little cramps.

 

I also keep thinking that im about to come on my period (the following might be a bit too much information) as i am feeling very 'wet' down there. I think it is just clear cervical mucus, which is normal, but i wish it would stop worrying me!

 

There is nothing to do now except hope that this 2ww goes nice and quickly and that our little embryo grows into our little baby(s)!

 

Take Care All x

Egg Transfer

Hello Everyone!

Today Phil and i made our way to Bourn Hall for our egg transfer at 10am. Typically it was snowing when we left our house at 8am and all the way to the clinic but we got there safe still, and early!

After a short wait we went into a little room to go through various things. These included questions about how i was feeling after the egg collection on Thursday, how the egg transfer was going to be done and what the process was for the weeks ahead. After that we went into a waiting area, which was really lovely. I had to have a full bladder for the procedure so kept drinking lots of water. Towards the end i was absolutely bursting!

A nurse came to collect us both and take us into the theatre where we were greeted by the embryologist. Phil and i were both nervous about our 3 little embryo's and whether they were of good quality, or even if we still had them! The embryologist just jumped straight into it and told us that they had already frozen 2 of the embryo's (this was such a shock as they only freeze good embryo's at minimum!) and that we had 1 top quality embryo to use today.

To say we were pleased is a severe understatement! All of our 3 embryo's survived and made it to this point and the 1 we were using was a top quality one... wow... my lucky pants have done it again!

Then i was asked to strip from the waist down and put on a hospital gown, hop on the bed, put my legs in the stirrups and relax... i was so worried that i was going to wee on the doctor at this point! Ha ha. With Phil sitting to one side of me and the ultrasound machine on the other side the doctor eased the speculum into my lady bits, which was not too bad. Then the embryologist brought our wonderful embryo into the room in a long syringe/tube thing and the doctor fed the tube (which is similar to a catheter) into my womb. It was magical as we could see it weaving into my womb on the ultrasound machine.

Then the doctor released the embryo (which we again saw, although it was very small) and removed the tube so that the embryologist could check that the embryo was not in it still. Then the speculum was removed and i was told to just relax for a few minutes before getting up and getting dressed. Then we left the clinic (not before having a wee of course!).

On the drive home we stopped at a 'Welcome Break' services to have something for lunch, and then as we were leaving Phil treated me to a Krispy Kreme donut and a Starbucks Frappuccino, he said that he didn't want anything but as we were waiting for my order there was a lady who's latte was made wrong so it was offered out. Talk about being in the right place at the right time! Phil had himself a fratte (a free-latte)!

All in all today has been fantastic, much better than expected. I was so worried about having a 2 day transfer, about the egg quality not being great and about the 3 embryo's not surviving but nothing bad happened... everything went so well!

I can finally say we are PUPO!

So now it is just a case of keeping this little one safe and hoping it implants well and grows into our first little baby.

The 2 week wait is upon us, fingers crossed for a positive result!

Take Care All x

Feeling Strange...

Hello Everyone!

At 2:10pm today i called the clinic for the update on our 7 little eggs and right now i think Phil and i are in a state of shock...

Out of the 7 collected 6 eggs were suitable for ICSI (a process of injecting the sperm directly into the egg) and out of those 6 only 3 have fertilised.

We are booked in for our egg transfer tomorrow morning at 10pm (although i expect there will be a bit of a wait before the embryo is put back) and we are both a little bit... meh?

I think it is because it is happening so soon! This last week has gone so mad we haven't really had time to think. There has been appointment after appointment, the egg collection was only yesterday and to have the transfer tomorrow? I just haven't had time to think about it.

I think we are a little bit sad that only 3 of our eggs have made it to embryo's, but at the same time we are really happy that we have the 3. It is a strange feeling and situation to be in.

Right now i think we just need to relax and keep our minds positive... easier said than done...

Fingers crossed everyone!

Take Care All x