23 June 2017

A Miracle in the Making?

Hello Everyone,

Well i really did not expect to be writing anything more on my blog. We really believed that our baby days were done, and that our beautiful Emma would be our one and only.

Some of you many remember that this time last year we had our second and last attempt at IVF, this time being a FET (frozen embryo transfer), which worked but then i lost them... then before a month went by we were somehow pregnant still/again. However after weeks of monitoring and scans at our EPU (early pregnancy unit) the little one just was not progressing, and i lost that one too...


It has taken me a while but i have decided to delete the posts i had written with regards to what happened last year. I just cannot face them. So i am sorry, but that part of our past has been erased from reality, though never from memory.

In September of last year we agreed that we would not be able to go through IVF again, but that we would just continue to try for a baby, take our supplements and hope for the best. In the meantime we would still live our lives, make plans and enjoy our family life that we are so blessed to have. Plus we got in contact with a breeder to get a little kitten, who we finally brought home at the beginning of June!

We booked a holiday for April 2018 and were just going to see what life would bring us.

Fast forward almost a year to the day that we lost the FET pregnancy and i had what i assumed was my period starting on the Friday morning. My period was expect to come on the Saturday so i wasn't surprised to see it. However by Sunday night it had not arrived so i decided on the Monday morning that i would do a pregnancy test.

On Monday morning i called Phil into the bathroom and thrust the test in his face. By some miracle, after just 10 months of trying we were PREGNANT!

Instant panic set in. How can we go through it all again? How can we deal with the possibility of another loss? I felt so scared. Phil was calm and in disbelief. Wow... 

The day after i called the EPU to arrange the early reassurance scan that they had wanted us to organise if we were to fall pregnant again, and they booked me in for the 6th July. When i should be 7 weeks 3 days. At that time i was only 4 weeks 1 day, so had an eternity to wait.

About a week later, amongst all the other regular symptoms i was having, i started to feel an ache in my shoulder. Then the morning after i came across very faint and very nauseous all of a sudden. I phoned the EPU and they booked me in for a scan that day, 5 hours later, for fear of an Ectopic pregnancy. 

Phil and i got to the hospital and there is a dreadful sadness you feel when you are recognised in the EPU. You wish they were strangers to you, but sometimes that is not the case. They confirmed my details and agreed that by my LMP (last menstrual period) date i would be 5 weeks 3 days at that point. She did warn that they were just looking to see that the GS (gestational sac) was in the correct place, and that it would likely still be empty at this stage.

We got into the scan room and the lady used the ever delightful probe and instantly found our beautiful GS. In the right place, and at 5 weeks growth.

Phil was naughty and took a sneaky picture:

The GS is slightly smaller than expected and has put me back by 3 days, but the nurse said that was normal and embryos grow at different rates at this early stage in pregnancy, so told me not to worry. This is why they don't normally scan so early on, because it can worry and confuse people unnecessarily. She said that we will keep our 6th July appointment and by then will hopefully see our beautiful little miracle growing well.

Until then all we can do is take each day as it comes and try to keep as calm as possible.

Take Care All xxx

19 December 2013


Hello Everyone,

She is 10 days old now and finally i am able to introduce to you all our beautiful miracle baby girl:

Emma Annabel Cole - Born on Monday the 9th December at 10:33pm:

I expect you are wondering why it has taken so long to update this blog, well... let me tell you, you will not be disappointed! I don't do things by halves! Ha ha.

After our consultant scan and midwife appointment on Thursday the 5th it was decided that our induction would be moved forward to the Saturday, oh god! Her growth was fine, and they estimated her to be 7lb 2oz but just to be on the safe side i was booked to go in to hospital for 8:30am on the 7th.

We arrived at the hospital on time (of course! ha ha) and i got settled onto the ward and a pessary was put in at 9:40am. We were really excited for the whole process to start and were so happy that we were close to meeting our precious baby girl. With the idea to get things moving we walked up and down the halls of the hospital. On that first day we must of walked 10 miles! My friend Robyn popped in for an hour (but ended up staying until Emma was born! Ha ha, sneaky!) and by 9pm i had only managed to get to 2 cm's dilated... gutting... So Phil and Robyn went home and the plan was to have another pessary put in the following day.

That night was awful... i got no sleep due to a woman who literally sounded like a bear snoring in the next bay to me, and on the other side of me there was a woman making so much noise you would think she had got to 10 cm's in 5 minutes. Turns out she was only 1! In the end, and at 5:30am the midwives decided that i could be moved to a private room so i could get some sleep. I was shattered and mentally stressed, they should of moved me sooner really, but oh well. I managed to get about 2 hours sleep.

Phil and Robyn arrived at just after 9am on the Sunday and i was moved back to the ward and a second pessary was put in. With the frame of mind to get Emma out we all must of walked over 15 miles of the hospital corridors! I was bouncing on a ball, and even got in a bath at one point. I had a fair few contractions throughout the afternoon which suggested that things were underway but when i was checked we were disappointed to find out that i was still only 2cm's! A plan was made that on Monday i would be put on the drip to try and speed things up. In preparation for this, and also for my sanity i was moved to the Central Delivery suite, again into a private room so i could get some sleep. Monday was going to be a busy day!

With enthusiasm at 9am, Phil and Robyn arrived once more! It didn't take long for me to be put on the drip, but first i would have to have an epidural. My original birth plan was to have only gas and air, with the possibility of Pethidine if things got really bad. This is because, if you recall, when i was with Robyn at the birth of her daughter Erica in January her epidural experience was awful! However, there was nothing i could do, if i wanted the drip, then i had to have an epidural, simple as. All the paperwork was sorted, and i was given gas and air so i could get through the whole experience. It seemed to take hours to get the bloody thing in, and Phil and Robyn tell me i came out with some classic comments, such as 'i really like that doctor with the beard' (he was doing the epidural! ha ha), and 'i do love Loz (Robyn's husband) but he does have funny hair'! Ha ha, love it!

The epidural went in with minimal fuss and the drip was started. Here we go! Or so we thought.

After about 6 hours, and lots of chatting i was checked to see how far gone i was, we had made it to 4 cm's! I was hoping it would be more, but at least it was progress! I had already had my waters broken in the morning (which was the most painful thing i had ever experienced... why they couldn't of done it after the epidural had been put in is beyond me...) and according to the monitor was contracting well, so the drip was increased.

That is when things started to go a bit down hill...

Emma did not like the increase at all. Every time i had a contraction her heart rate dipped. The midwives and doctors decided that they would monitor it for a while, but soon came to the idea that they would reduce the drip again. After a few more hours things had not got any better. Emma's heart rate was still dipping with the contractions, and at 9pm i was checked to see how dilated i was and we were gutted to find that i was still only 4 cm's! A decision had to be made... she would have to be born via EMCS (Emergency Caesarean Section).

Things went a bit mad after that, consent forms were signed and Phil was asked to change into scrubs for the operating theatre. Robyn bless her was not able to join us in the theatre which was really upsetting, poor girl had been through it over the past few days! Then we were taken to theatre.

All the checks were made, and the Local Anesthetic was given to me, however it didn't work! I had to be put under General Anesthetic and Phil had to leave the theatre and wait outside the doors!

Emma was born at 10:33pm on the 9th of December and she weighed 6lb 15oz! Phil heard her first cries and within 10 minutes she was passed to him in the corridor for first cuddles.

Unfortunately my first memories of her birth are no longer mine... i only remember opening my eyes and seeing Phil holding her and Robyn standing next to him. Then i remember being given a massive ice cube to suck on... that is it. I was heartbroken...

Phil had to leave the hospital at just after 1am and Emma and i were moved to a ward. I could go in to lots of detail about my stay in hospital but there is so much more to say so i shall just mention that Emma was perfect, i was in a lot of pain and could hardly move, not really ideal when you have just had a baby, but at least she was safe. It turns out the Emma would never of come out naturally because she was being pushed down onto my pelvis with each contraction, hence why her heart rate was dropping all the time. If we had not had the EMCS who knows what might of happened! As a result of the pushing she was born with a large bruise on the back of her head, which has now faded.

We had lots of checks from midwives and pediatricians on the ward and were finally discharged on Wednesday the 11th December. I could not wait to get home as i found it really hard to be in hospital without Phil and my home comforts. Especially as i could barely look after myself, let alone Emma due to the amount of pain i was in.

Now, you would think that this would be the end of my story... but no, it gets more complicated!

Whilst at home i found that i was struggling to catch my breath, it felt as though someone was standing on my chest and i was unable to lie down on my left side and back and breathe. At first i thought that it was just because i had had the EMCS, i thought that maybe it was normal and i was just going to have to wait until it healed. However by Sunday i decided that something wasn't right and at 11pm Phil, Emma, Phil's mum Chris and I arrived at the hospital. We were seen pretty quickly due to the nature of my complaint, after blood tests, monitoring and a doctor listening to my chest i was moved to a side room for further testing, which included a chest x-ray. We waited and waited and waited and at around 5am the consultant broke the news that i had Pneumonia. What the...!

Whilst it is not common, it is also not unheard of to catch Pneumonia after an operation, and i had caught it. I had a partial collapse on my right lung, and fluid on both lungs. No wonder i could hardly breathe! We were all in shock. After another long wait we were moved over to the maternity ward because the doctors decided it was safer for Emma to be away from the main hospital. We were again put in a private room and told that i would be having a CT scan to check for blood clots.

At around 8:30pm Phil and Chris had to leave, i was so upset... how could i look after my newborn baby by myself now that not only had i had major surgery, but also had a serious medical condition! I was devastated, and did not have a good night at all. Alongside that my right breast had cracked (due to Emma being offered it after my General Anesthetic and clearly she latched on wrong) and i was in agony with it. Although i had been trying to ride through the pain, with the new diagnosis i felt that it was just too much, so i expressed milk for her from that side. It was trial and error, my left breast was used a lot more because she didn't seem to get full from the amount given to her from expressing so i had to top her up from it each time. Then as a result it was becoming a little sore, i was so worried that we would have to stop breastfeeding, and the hospital midwives were useless with any advice and kept suggesting that i was not latching on correctly. I was getting really annoyed.

On Tuesday morning Phil arrived to Emma and I snuggled up together, which was lovely! We spent the whole day waiting for the CT scan, which eventually happened at 2pm. A dye was injected into my veins so they could test to see if the was a clot in my lungs or heart. It was horrible. I then went back to my prison cell... i mean side room! I was told that the doctor would have to review everything and would come back with a decision of what to do, however in the mean time i would start taking an antibiotic called Amoxicillin which would treat the Pneumonia and thus heal the collapse and reduce the fluid on my lungs.

More waiting and waiting, and then it was time for Phil to leave us again. I had really struggled with giving Emma the expressed milk and my left breast was continuing to get more tender, so we decided that Phil would get me some nipple shields so that i could hopefully stop expressing milk and start using my right breast again. We hoped that Emma would have a full feed off both breasts alternatively and i would not have to use the left breast to top up the right side expressed feed. I spoke to the midwives at the hospital about this idea and they were against it, but we didn't care... we are her parents, and as you will see shortly... we do know best, ha ha!

After another awful night of the midwives popping in to check my blood pressure every hour, and listening to them laughing and talking loudly in the hall i had had enough and was ready to leave. I was feeling so low, and Phil was really missing his girls at home. We had already had an awful birth experience and this second hospital stay was really pushing us to the limits. We had both had a good cry, and just needed to be home together as a family so we could try to fix the mess that had been caused.

We spent the morning together, relaxing and watching comedy shows on Phil's phone, it was really lovely. Plus the nipple shields are fantastic! Emma took to them straight away and we were able to carry on with our breastfeeding journey. I was so happy and proud of her, and of myself for persevering and ignoring the midwives opinions, I felt awesome!

I was desperate to go home and i could tell the midwives wanted to get rid of me too, i did not feel welcome at all. Out of the blue we were visited by a doctor who told me that she was going to try and get me home today, the consultant had decided that i did not have a clot but i was to have an ultrasound to see how much fluid there was on my lungs, and whether i would need to have it removed (they would do this by using a needle, inserted between my ribs, to draw out the fluid... i was not looking forward to that). She had a meeting to attend first but promised she would be back later to do the ultrasound.

Thankfully she kept to her word and arrived to my room at about 4pm, machine in tow, and got straight on with the ultrasound, i was so happy and impressed by her efficiency. She was satisfied that the fluid amount in both lungs was not large enough to need draining so her assistant gathered up the huge pile of needles and other items that she would of used to drain them... phew!

We were then told that the original doctors that had seen me on Sunday night would have to discharge me, but apparently they had not realised that i was still at the hospital! So that is why it had taken almost 4 days to get the the point of me being able to leave! Phil and I were furious! I had spent the past 4 days in the place i least wanted to be, and i was becoming mentally unwell. It had taken forever it seemed to organise and sort out something that could of been dealt with in maybe just 1 or 2 days.

However, thankfully the original doctors didn't waste any more time and came to my room quite soon after the lovely doctor had left to organise my discharge (i must just mention that the midwives had tried to get my to discharge myself... isn't that outrageous! As if i would do that!). They said the chemist had already sorted my medication to fight the Pneumonia and it was just a case of waiting for that to be delivered to me.

At 8pm Phil and I finally left the hospital... it was cold, and it was raining... but it was a magical moment and a few tears of joy and relief fell from my eyes.

The first 10 days of my daughter's life have been a mix of emotions, i am so happy and overwhelmed by her presence in our lives. She is amazing and we are incredibly lucky to have her. She is beautiful and healthy, and we look forward to every day with her.

Her birth though has been so traumatic for me, and now i have a serious illness that i need to get through. I have many issues with what has happened to me and my little family in the past week or so. I will deal with them one day, but for now i must hold on to the good things, and start to enjoy my time together with my husband and my daughter.

They say that children can break the strongest of relationships, but my love for Phil has never been stronger. He is my rock and i love him and need him more than i ever have... and he loves me too.

We are truly blessed...

Take Care All x

3 December 2013

1 Week Left!

Hello Everyone,

Wow... i have made it to 39 weeks... 1 week to go! Argh! Who would of thought it! People said that for the last few weeks time seems to slow down, but not for me! It is still going at a ridiculous rate!

Baby Dave will be here soon, and because of our induction date this time next Tuesday (unless she comes earlier) i will hopefully be in the throes of labour!

Rewinding back a bit though, there is lots to tell...

So i had the regular 38 week midwife appointment last week and all was going really well until she measured my bump. Dave has been above the 50th centile line (almost at the 90th line at one stage) throughout the whole of my pregnancy, but with the new bump measurement that day Dave went below the 10th centile line for growth. You might think that that is ok, and that we shouldn't really worry because it is a tape measurement and they are not 100% accurate, but the midwife who measured me is the head midwife... so she knows what she is doing.

Anyway, she decided that i need another growth scan and contacted the hospital to book me in there and then. She also said that she would like me to go for regular CTG's (a trace of the baby's heartbeat), including having one that day. The hospital came back with an appointment time of 11:30 for the next Thursday and then i made my way to the MAU (Maternity Unit) to have the CTG.

I arrived at the hospital and was put on the monitor quite quickly. After just 30 minutes i was able to go home, all was well and i was asked to come back on Monday for another trace.

Then on Saturday i had my Baby Shower! I was so excited for my party! It was a small gathering of close family and friends and we had such a good time. My mother-in-law hosted it for me, and my sister Sharon took care of the games and activities! There was loads of food and so many laughs! I had a nice new top on that i bought especially and i felt really loved. I had a fantastic time and feel so lucky to have such a wonderful group of people around me.

On Monday morning Phil and i made our way to the hospital again for the second CTG. I was on the machine for almost an hour this time. Again it all went really well, although i didn't really feel Dave move much, and movement has slowed down quite a lot, that might just be normal though. The midwife said that i did not need to come in for another trace as i have my scan booked for Thursday. She also said that if i felt worried then i could always come back at any time.

That brings us to now, with a day or so to go until we have our growth scan. I have mixed feelings about it. I am really looking forward to seeing Dave again, seeing how much she has grown, and what is nice is that Phil has taken the day off so he can come along too. However i am not sure what our options will be following the scan... Will we be ok to wait until the 10th for our induction, or will they bring it forward? Maybe i will even be induced on Thursday?

Will she of grown enough by then to keep her in? Or will they think it is best to get her out as soon as possible? Chances are she is going to be smaller than we first thought, possibly just over 6lb, so we have bought a few tiny baby items for her just encase. It might be better for her to come out sooner rather than later because that way i will be able to look after her and feed her up quicker.

So this is where we are... teetering on the edge of the unknown. Our baby could be here in a few days... and she will be here for definite in just over a week.

Are we ready???

Of course we are... 6 days to go.

Take Care All x

16 November 2013

Maternity Leave and Consultant Scan

Hello Everyone,

So we are now getting very close to Baby Dave's due date... scarily close in fact! Just over 3 weeks to go!

I have now started my maternity leave. My last day at work was such a strange one, everything i did i kept thinking 'last time i park my car there', 'last time i turn on my computer and open the front door', 'last time i use my work cup'... Luckily it was a busy day, i love working and enjoy being busy so i wasn't looking for the day to be a quiet one at all!

What was really wonderful is that after lunch i went back down to reception and everyone was there waiting, with flowers, a card, balloon and gift for me. I went bright red instantly  (and it took me about an hour to cool down afterwards!) and the senior partner John said a few words, then i said a little something, most probably really embarrassing, but it was nice to say a few things. Then before i knew it the day was over, and i shut down reception for the last time... as i was driving home i felt very strange and when i got in i let a few tears out, bless me...

Most people say that once you go on maternity leave time really slows down, but i am not too sure of that! Time is just disappearing for us. My whole pregnancy has gone quickly, and many others agree. The memory of me doing my first test is still fresh in my mind so we have got to this point now in the blink of an eye it seems. I guess because Christmas is coming up and i will be so busy trying to get that sorted and organised before Dave comes, plus we still have a few things to do in preparation for her. The days are just whizzing by!

The day after i left work i had a consultant appointment and scan at the hospital. My lovely mother-in-law came with me which was nice. We didn't have to wait long at all for the scan, i had barely finished doing my urine sample and we were called in! It was only brief, but the sonographer confirmed that Dave was growing really well, all was normal, and he estimated her current weigh at 5lb 11oz, so it looks like she isn't going to be a big girl, hopefully around the 7lb mark.

Then i went and had my blood pressure checked, urine checked etc with the midwife. She also had a quick look through my birth plan, and said that it was great, which was nice to know! Then we went in to see the consultant.

He checked to see what position Dave was in and confirmed that she is head down and 3/5th's engaged! That is amazing news! She is almost half way down and going the right way, i was so proud! That would explain all those pains i have been getting down below! He also said that he will request a date for our induction, saying that he would prefer it to be as close to Dave's due date as possible.

Then yesterday i received a call from a midwife at the hospital who was hoping to book my induction in. What!!! That was quicker than expected... So it has been booked in for 9am on the 10th December! Our due date! We can't believe it! We have the luxury of knowing that she will not be weeks late and it is so lovely to know that we won't have to play the waiting game or wonder when she will come. We are so lucky in that sense. Unless she comes early we will be at the hospital on the 10th and at least starting the process.

Obviously being induced on that day does not mean that she will be born that day, we may even get the 11/12/13 birth date which will be great, but it mean's that she will be a good distance away from Christmas. We are really excited and looking forward to it. We are so ready to have our miracle now...

24 days to go!

Take Care All x

5 November 2013

35 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

We have just 5 weeks to go... 6 weeks maximum (because the consultant does not want us to go past 41 weeks due to IVF, so will give me an induction date close to the time)!

Oh my god... it is really happening isn't it? Before we know it Phil and I will be responsible for a small baby girl. We are both ready and not ready at the same time. How can you begin to comprehend how huge a change of lifestyle having a baby will be? We have been ready to be parents and have a family for a few years now... but have we really???

Well, there is nothing to be done now, Baby Dave is coming, and she is coming fast!

At my 34 week midwife appointment she confirmed that Dave is head down and starting to brim. I have a scan booked for the 36 week appointment and i hope that Dave has started to engage by then. I think she is trying to make her way in to my pelvis because i have had a fair amount of sharp twinges around that area. My midwife also confirmed that Dave is growing well so that is a great relief.

I am still enjoying a daily vomit every morning, except for this morning? Weird... I have been sick every day since 6 weeks, and now at 35 weeks i haven't. Maybe it has finally stopped? Or maybe it will be much worse tomorrow to make up for it! Ha ha. Dave is moving about and jabbing me in all sorts of places all day long, which is wonderful. I am grateful that i have the re-assurance of her movements daily.

Plus it seems i have finally got my first baby related stretch mark... boo! It is only tiny at the moment and just under my belly button, which has yet to pop out, but i don't think it will be much longer before it does!

We have finally had some real progress on Dave's nursery! It is beautiful, and only slightly messy still. There are a few bits to still sort out but i think in the next couple of weeks it will be finished and i will be able to put a picture of it on here for you all!

We went to the BabyShow at the Olympia, Kensington a couple of weeks ago and had such a fantastic time! We travelled up to London on the train/ tube with my friend Lauren and her little family and spent the day there. I do think it is better to go to the show when you still need to buy a lot of things for your little one, but it was still worth it for us to go. It was a great experience and we got some lovely freebies as well as ordered the glider nursing chair for Dave's room. At a discount too!

I now only have 4 more shifts at work left until my maternity leave starts. The last week i am doing 3 of those shifts in a row, which is really tough. I find myself getting really tired mid afternoon so it will be interesting to see how my last week goes. Once that is out of the way though i can really start to concentrate on getting Christmas organised. Trying to sort Christmas in December will be a nightmare, so everything really needs to be all ready and wrapped before the 1st December, which is when we will put up our tree! So exciting!!!

So 35 days to go until we are 40 weeks... the countdown begins.

Take Care All x

14 October 2013

4D Scan!

Hello Everyone!

Time needs to seriously slow down! It is getting ridiculous now! I don't understand how it has been almost 3 weeks since my last update! We had our 4D scan 2 weeks ago but it feels like it was done yesterday?! It won't be much longer and this pregnancy will be over... for the moment though I am enjoying all of the kicks and jabs this little one is giving me. Even the ones that hurt!

So a few things to catch up on since my last post... the most fantastic being that we had our 4D scan at Bourn Hall on the 1st of October! Driving to the clinic was so exciting, it was such a nice feeling to know that we were going back to the place where our miracle began.

The lady who was performing the scan for us was so lovely, it is an expensive extra to have done but I think it was totally worth every penny. It should usually last 30-40 minutes in total, with the option to buy a DVD of the scan for an extra £35. We were still undecided as to whether we were going to purchase that, and told her that we would see how baby behaves first.

So the scan began at 10:15 and straight away Phil and I were amazed by Dave, she was perfect! Unfortunately my placenta is Anterior, this means it is at the front of my womb rather than the back, which means that Dave is using it as a pillow. Therefore it is covering most, if not all of her face. This then means that the photos would not be as brilliant as you would hope for, but I think they are still fantastic:

Dave was being a right pickle and was clearly asleep so the lady said that we should have a drink and some biscuits (all provided!) and have a walk round the grounds so she could try again in a few minutes. She had another lady coming in at 11am for a quick scan and then we could go back in.

After about 20 minutes we were back in the scanning room and although Dave was still in an awkward position, with her face firmly wedged into my placenta, she was awake! As a result of that we got some movement and were about to see her open her mouth (we saw her gums, so cute!), stretch and turn her head and play with her hands. Most of the time her foot was up next to her head, crazy child!

In total we were in 4D mode for about an hour and a half!!! The lady gave us 31 photos of Dave and a short DVD of her with no extra charge. She said it was because Dave didn't really move about much so it would not be fair charging for it. When we got home we watched the DVD and agree that whilst it isn't fantastic it still has a few brief moments of amazement.

I am so glad that we had the 4D scan in the end, not only was it beautiful to see Dave, it also helped calm some fears of mine. I was able to see that her face was normal, and that she had fingers and toes, something that they don't look for in regular scans. It also means that when we think about her, and imagine her in my tummy we can imagine a real face, rather then a grainy black and white 2D image.

There are a few things coming up in the next couple of days. On Thursday I have a 32 week appointment with the consultant, my mother in law is coming with me bless her. Then on Friday we have our first Antenatal Class, all very exciting! Also on Saturday we should be receiving our new choice of furniture from Mama's and Papa's! Just need to get the SilverCross stuff picked up so we can build it and then hopefully get her room organised!

Phil put up the curtain pole and we hung her curtains at the weekend, it is looking a bit pink in her room! Well... all except a lovely little brown rocking horse called Buddy that was lovingly owned by my niece Caitlin and nephew Jack. He is so gorgeous and I can not wait until Dave is able to enjoy it too!

Things are becoming increasingly more real, especially as I have now started packing my hospital bag and have washed and ironed all of her clothes, sheets etc. We are starting to become very excited about her imminent arrival!

Until next time...

Take Care All x

28 September 2013

Growing Bigger...

Hello Everyone!

Wow... the last month has just whizzed past! I really am struggling to get my head around how quickly this pregnancy is going. It is starting to make me feel a bit sad that in just 10 short weeks it will all be over and i will not be pregnant anymore... obviously i will have my little baby girl, but i will definitely miss being pregnant.

Madness i hear you shout! It is true! Even though i have spent the last 29 weeks or so worried, nervous and sick as a dog i will miss her kicking and tumbling about in my tummy. I will miss the joy that i feel when i catch my ever expanding bump in a mirror, and i will miss just sitting quietly, holding my lovely bump and dreaming about my baby girl.

What has become really wonderful is that her movements are much more obvious to us both. Not only is she kicking me often now, she is also rolling around in there! It is such a weird sensation, but weirder still it is not bizarre... what i mean is that it feels totally normal to feel her just kicking and prodding away randomly through the day and night. We like to just sit staring at my tummy moving and creating all sorts of shapes!

I really can't get my head around the fact that we are over 29 weeks pregnant now, i am so eager to start 'nesting' and getting her room, clothes and other bits sorted. I will be packing my hospital bag shortly and we have pretty much got everything she needs. Alongside the countdown to her birth we have Christmas to sort out too... this moment really is the calm before the storm. It think these last 10 weeks will go incredibly quickly due to how busy they will be.

We just got back from our lovely break in Caister, it was at a Haven's caravan park and we had a really great time. Although i was shattered at the end of the day it was really relaxing for us both. We did a lot of walking and Phil steered us around some lakes of the broads in a little boat! It really was a fantastic holiday and as you can see below i felt really calm throughout it all...

The next thing for us to look forward to is happening in just a few days! On Tuesday we are going back to Bourn Hall for our 4D scan. To say we are excited is an understatement! I really can't wait to see our baby again, it has been 10 weeks since our last time and i am sure it will be amazing!

So now it is just more waiting... that is all we seem to do!

Take Care All x

28 August 2013

25 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

Once again look how much time it has been between now and my last blog! I really must stop messing about and make more of an effort with this! After all, the other week i read back through some of my earlier posts and i loved it! I am so glad that i have made this blog!

Right, so what has been happening with me and Dave! Well... we are viable! Once you get past the 24 week mark your baby has a much better chance of survival, with each day and week past that time making it much more likely. Plus the hospital is able to help your little one if he or she comes too early once you are past 24 weeks. This has been a huge weight off my mind and shoulders... i feel much more confident in actually getting to keep my baby girl now.

I know you are itching to know, and the answer is yes... i am still being sick every day. Ha ha, oh it is such fun! Sometimes it is worse than others, but still not very pleasant. Still, i can't start my day without a visit to the loo with my orange bucket! I have also noticed that my breasts have started growing again, i seem to be getting more and more veins, and i am started to get tired again. I have now gained 8lbs in total, which i guess is a good thing. Plus, touch wood, i haven't yet got any stretch marks... although i expect that will change soon enough!

My little bump is ever-expanding and i think it is at maximum capacity now so will most likely start getting huge from now on, especially as Dave will now be piling on the pounds too! I am feeling lots of kicks and hiccups throughout the day, it would be nice to feel more and i hope that as she gets bigger she will pack more of a punch! It is really lovely that Phil is able to feel her bigger kicks and movements now too.

We have finally cleared her room out of all the extra stuff and rubbish we had stored! Some of it went in the bin, some went in the loft and some of it was finally sorted out and put into 'really useful boxes' under our bed in our bedroom. Then we painted 1 of her bedroom walls pink and refreshed the other 3 walls with magnolia (classic!) before piling all of the things we have bought for her neatly on the floor. I spoke to the company who are delivering the furniture we have ordered for her today and they estimate that we will have it all delivered within the next 2 weeks! Then we will get her mattress! It is all happening!!!

I really can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going...

We have got so much to look forward to in the coming months anyway, which will keep our minds off of the waiting, firstly we have my brother's wedding coming up on the 22nd September, then the day after that Phil and I are going on holiday to Caister, Great Yarmouth! Plus the other day i booked our 3D/4D scan for the 1st October at Bourn Hall! We are really looking forward to it and are so excited to see our baby girl again!

Lastly, i have organised my maternity leave, which makes this having a baby lark even more real! My official leaving date is the 1st December but i am using up some annual leave so my last working day is Wednesday 13th November! Only 76 days to go! I am so excited!!!

Our little longed for miracle will be with us before we know it, and i for one can't wait!

Take Care All x

30 July 2013

Anomaly Scan and Gender Results!

Hello Everyone! 

Wow... im a bit late with my update! Sorry about that but i just can't seem to keep myself awake to write it! 

So as you all know we had our 20 week scan last week, and it was brilliant! We had to sit in the same waiting area as we did last year when we were seeing the consultant in the hope to be put forward for IVF, so that was weird... and surreal. I was looking around at the other people waiting to be seen, wondering what their stories were, a few were obviously pregnant, but some were not, and they were with their partners or mums. I had all sorts of emotions running through my mind, i was so happy to be there and to be sporting my lovely bump, but i was also sad for those woman, who had to look at me and not know my story, just like me all those months ago. 

I didn't have much time to dwell on things though as we were called in to the scan room really quickly. The sonographer asked me how i was feeling in general, had i been feeling the baby kicking at all (YES!) and were we interested to know the gender of our baby. She asked me to lie down and then switched on the screen opposite so we could watch the whole scan! I have spoken to a few people about their scans and unfortunately quite a few people have said that they barely got to see their babies, so i did feel very lucky!

Throughout the scan she was taking her time to show us everything she was looking for, pointing out all of our little baby's organs etc. The one thing i was most anxious to see was that Dave had all his/ her arms and legs. Not for my vanity, but for Dave... it must be so hard growing up without them. The sonographer then went through Dave's whole body, showing us his/ her facial features, spine, limbs, brain, liver, kidneys etc... finally showing us Dave's heart, which was perfect! What i really loved about the sonographer was that she was very thorough... if she didn't see something at the time of looking she made sure she had seen it by the time we left. That is just what you want from a scan!

At one point she asked me what i had eaten for breakfast, i'd had jam on toast, she said 'ah, that would be why baby is moving around lots then', ha ha!

Also, another wonderful thing happened, we were just watching the screen and we saw Dave's whole body literally jump and i felt it! It was so wonderful not only for me, but Phil could see that the feelings that i have had were being caused by him/ her doing something! Near the end of the scan the sonographer said she was going to see if baby would tell us what gender they were, and without any trouble Dave became a GIRL (sorry about the picture, she was covering her face with her hands!).

So there we go! My prediction came true! We are going to have a gorgeous little daughter in December. Phil and I are so excited!

The weekend after the scan we went to Lakeside and did some PINK shopping, which was so lovely. We bought lots of nice bits for her room!

Our next appointment is in just 2 days, and it is with the consultant who we originally spoke to. It will be nice to talk through any problems i have, like the fact that i am still being sick, and also that i have only put on 4lb!

Until then though,

Take Care All x

16 July 2013

19 Weeks and Movement!

Hello Everyone!

Wow... it has been quite a while since the last time i posted, oops! I can only guess that it is because the weeks are just flying by! Honestly, it is ridiculous! In 1 week we will be half way through our first pregnancy and i just can't believe it!

Although we are months past the 12 week mark i am still 'enjoying' being sick every morning... no one told me this was going to happen! Although i moan about it i don't really mind either! It is nice to know that my little baby is growing so much that my body is still responding to it. I have also for the past few weeks been experiencing the delight that is backache. Oh it does hurt... but again, i wouldn't change a thing!

I have been really enjoying listening to my tummy with my Doppler, i do so every few days or when i feel a bit worried and i always find Dave's heartbeat, which is so reassuring. It has been lovely to follow the growth of not only Dave but also my uterus. It is amazing to me that at the beginning i heard the heartbeat really low down in my pelvis and now i can find it around my belly button! How fantastic is that?

Also over the past couple of weeks i have been experiencing what i describe as little flutters and bubbles in my tummy. I haven't been 100% sure that this was Dave moving about, and i was constantly doubting it. Especially as it would only happen maybe once or twice throughout the day, and some day's not at all? However, today things changed... i was just relaxing on the sofa after having a particularly awful morning of sickness and i felt a quick succession of flutters and bubbles, all in the same place and it lasted for about 5 minutes, then it slowed down so i gave my tummy a poke and there was Dave, responding to my poke with kicks and prods! It was so beautiful that i just lay there for the next 15 minutes, feeling my miracle baby move about within me, with tears falling down my face at the wonder of it all...

We have 7 days to go until our Anomaly Scan, the 20 week scan, and we are so excited about seeing Dave again, and hopefully finding out his/ her gender! I still think i have a little girl in my tummy, and Phil is being controversial and saying that it is a boy, he just wants a difference of opinion to me though! Ha ha. It will be fantastic to be able to see how much Dave has grown, and check that everything is going well... fingers crossed aye?

Also after the scan we will be able to start committing to buying all of the things we have chosen for our baby. Monitors, furniture, clothing, toys, bears, bedding etc... it will be so much fun! We have already ordered our pram though! The SilverCross Wayfarer in Damson. We absolutely love it!

So much excitement still coming our way!

Take Care All x